Beha'alotcha—Words, Tone, and Prayer
June 2, 2026Shalom,
One of the joys of working with adolescents is the unique language they bring into the world. More than once, a student has greeted me with, "Hey, dude!" or "What's up, bro?" I have to admit that part of me finds it endearing. It is often their way of expressing comfort, trust, and connection. At the same time, another part of me wonders whether those words quite fit the relationship between student and rabbi. The tension makes me smile, but it also reminds me that the words, and especially the ‘tone’ we use matter. The way we address one another communicates something about how we see each other and how we wish to be seen.
In our tradition, prayer is one of our forms of communication, of using language. And, I am not sure about all of you, but I know that for me, prayer has been an evolving concept in my life. At times it is about hoping for something; at other times it is mental space to explore how we might strive to be our best selves. In the Torah portion we read this past Shabbat, Beha'alotcha, we encounter one of the Torah's most memorable examples of spontaneous prayer.
It comes after a bout of sibling rivalry between Moses, Miriam, and Aaron. The result of their familial strife is that Miriam becomes stricken with illness. Moses, after experiencing his siblings speaking out against him and his leadership, witnesses Miriam's suffering and offers a prayer: "O God, please heal her!" (Numbers 12:13).
This is certainly one form of prayer—a prayer of supplication. It is Moses' request that God remove the illness from his sister and restore her to health. Rashi comments on this moment, drawing on the Midrash, teaching that "if one is asking a favor of their fellow human being, one should first say two or three words of supplication and then make the request."
At first glance, this sounds a bit like a teenager saying, "Mom, your new haircut looks great. Can I borrow the car keys?" But I think Rashi is aiming much deeper. He is teaching us about what he calls the "correct attitude in social life." Our words matter. The way we speak to one another matters. The brief phrasing of Moses' prayer reminds us that kindness, humility, and compassion should be present in our actions, and also in our speech.
Perhaps that is why I find myself reflecting on those moments of being called "dude" or "bro." The words themselves are not the issue. What matters is learning that language carries meaning and shapes relationships. Whether we are speaking to a parent, a teacher, a friend, a stranger, or even to God, Divine, Mystery of Creation - whatever it is we believe, our words have the power to build connection, express respect, and communicate care.
As this week begins, may we examine the ways we connect with others through words—speaking with kindness and compassion, and listening with the same care and attention.
Shavua Tov,
Rabbi Evon
